oh-my-lorde:

*holds your whole family hostage at gunpoint* calm down it’s just a metaphor

catspock:

*shoves a chainsaw up my anus*

see, it’s a metaphor

blowjab:

dating tip: hold his dick near your mouth but don’t put it in, then say “it’s a metaphor”

lambslide:

when the moon hits ur eye like a big pizza pie

that’s a metaphoré

superchunk:

if i’m a metaphor and you’re a metaphor, then who’s driving the plane?

  • *Sips milkshake but doesn't swallow it*
  • What are you doing?! You have diabetes!
  • Ith a mebaforh
  • eren jaeger: *puts thumb in mouth*
  • eren jaeger: see, it's a metaphor
  • eren jaeger: you put the titan trigger in between your teeth but you dont give it the power to do the titan thing

presidentobarna:

*puts dick in my mouth* see its a metaphor

im gay

fuck-kirk:

It’s a metaphor, see
  • cop: is that a joint between your teeth
  • me: no it's a metaphor

punkurie:

*puts metaphor between cigarette* it’s a teeth

  • cop: is that a joint between your teeth
  • me: no it's a metaphor
nosdrinker:

when is this going to become its own sport